Radiation Junkie

I'd hate to be the sort of pretentious swine who tenders warnings about himself without letting words speak for themselves. That's what words do, after all. Quite frequently, however, their nature is not immediately known. One can be strung along for periods of time, massaged into unsuspecting pulp, and then hit upside the head with the altogether shattering realization that they have wasted precious minutes of their Time. Minutes they can never get back. Once this realization hits, it's catatonic introspective nightmare for at least 6-8 hours. Visions of mortality come into play, and the unfortunate victim will be left mewling on the bathroom floor, repeatedly sick from borderline hallucinogenic fantasies involving war pikes, disembowelment, and any number of gruesome horrors most of us spend time trying to avoid.

But if issuing a caveat to all of you stating that I have an endless capacity to bitch and moan about my personal life is what it takes to prevent the sort of personal humiliation I illustrated in the previous paragraph, then I do not regret wasting a few seconds of your Time if it meant saving much more. Something about the lives of few against those of many. Truman? Eisenhower? Someone said it, not that it really matters anymore. Day-to-day life has gotten so goddamned repetitive in this country and world that we needn't worry who said what anymore. We need only to know what was said. Why is a question for idiots, and who bears consequence only during Quiz Night at the local bar. (Speaking of which, my team annihilated the rest of those hometown panzies, which goes to show I am in the business of collecting needless information.)

Let's not rattle off any more quasi-philosophies, shall we? Let's get the fuck away from postulations and expository masturbations entirely and agree right now, once and for all, that we are looking the last throes of humanity smack in the face. When it takes almost no imagination to see how it's all going to end, you know you're in for the Ride. Truthfully, we might all be dead before Mother Nature swallows us whole, but cosmically, this makes very little difference. Our demise, of course, will be but a hiccup in the grand scheme of things, and there is nothing to do about it but pay the debt...with all the accrued interest and bullshit surcharges.

That's all very vague, though. It is subject to the easy pokes and prods, a facade that will not hold up too long against people with even moderately honed sensory apparatus. The question naturally is: What the fuck are you blathering about? Well. Nothing and everything are the same thing, so pick one and get it through your head that I'm talking about both. It could be global warming. It could be nuclear warfare. It could be that Big Bitch asteroid that's headed our way or the super volcano under Yellowstone National Park. Hell, and though I do not personally espouse the theory, it could even be the reconfiguration of consciousness as heralded by the Mayans, scheduled for 2012. Any of these things might come to pass. Consequently, none of them might. Anyone who takes a minute to pipe down and listen, though, should feel it coming. The hammer is cocked, and the wind is just right. The end will most likely be quick, but in case it's not--in case we have been so disastrously evil as a species--you would do well to stock up on water and heavy artillery. We will be plunged into anarchy, which really shouldn't frighten you--even flag-shitting capitalists--all that much. Anarchy will work much as things do now. The person with the biggest guns wins. He gets the women, the drugs, the security, and all the pea brained thugs he could ask for to do his dirty work.

There will always be a Top Dog, and he will always be someone to loathe for that very reason. John Lennon once said you need to smile as you kill if you wanna be like...

You know the line, don't you? Of course you do. So stay at the bottom of that hill, and if nothing else, if there is no soul or afterlife or promise of cosmic retribution (pfft!), at least you can live your life knowing that you're not the asshole.